Aren’t We Just A Bunch of Dumb Fucks?

Yup. Us addicts are as stupid as the leaf is green when it comes to our drugs. And it can be literally ANYTHING right? Doesn’t matter. Just gimme gimme I want it xtra xtra, monster-sized, triple large, more more – no, that’s not enough, thank you. Keep pouring – I need more than you and you and you over there in the corner, creep. We have to fuck harder, cry louder, laugh longer because if we don’t, what’s the point of even doing it? We are incapable of simply feeling like Mr. & Mrs. Normal, we have to BE the experience. If we could kiss and lick and marry that high, we fucking would. And that makes us not who we think we are – the bestest and funnest person in the room – no – it makes us the dumbest one. Addiction will wrap it’s skeletal arms around you slowly, day after day, high after high, until you can’t see past the blanket of death you’re trapped in. Inside the blanket it’s warm and safe and feels so good it’s like sex used to be. We love being in the blanket, we know there’s something crawling down our back – we can feel it’s spider-like fingers tingling over our skin, but we don’t care. We’ll stay in here forever. Now, if someone dares to try and pull the blanket off, we will hurt you. We will scare the shit out of you. You won’t recognize the person yelling and screaming at you like a five-year old who’s just had his favorite toy taken away. And we will GUILT the fuck out of you. Oh yes, we are so good at the guilt thing –

“But baby, it’s the only thing that helps my back…you want me to be in pain…, “It’s just a drink, you sound like my ex…, “Just one more time – if you cared about me you’d understand,” etc., etc.

We will come out of the blanket occasionally, but only to steal from you. Got credit cards? Not for long. Got a spare twenty dollar bill hanging around? You thought you did – you must be mistaken. I have my own money, honey. Why would I need yours…?

And after all the lies and fights and promises not kept, you’re not the funnest person in the room – you’re the only one in the room, with just your blanket to keep you warm. Alone and dumb.

This blog will show you in every detail what the life of a Kratom addict is. You’ll be with me for three years through every high and every low. Every loss (and there are many) and every don’t give a fucks. It doesn’t end well, and yet it does, because I’m here, I’m alive and able to tell you my story.

This blog will be honest. The most brutal, hot to the touch honest I can be. Some of you will be pissed. You love your Kratom, it’s given you your life back, blah blah. That’s fine. Be pissed. I don’t give a rat’s ass. Kratom is addictive. It took my life, slowly, and then it killed me. It is as evil as any Percocet or Oxycontin or meth. I don’t care this is an unpopular opinion. Reddit is full of addicts debating the best way to potentiate the effects of kratom, what strains produce the most euphoria, or how to lobby the FDA to keep their drug legal. So go over there and hang with your friends. They are legion. I was banned there for speaking badly about this plant so here I am.

I hope you choose to come with me on this journey. Stay, learn.

But leave your blanket at the door.

About kratomdiaries

In 2017, I discovered Kratom. I wish I never had. This is my own personal experience with this mysterious, magical, and yes - deadly - leaf. My story is my own and your journey with Kratom is your own. What happened to me may never happen to you. For many, Kratom is a gift, the ultimate answer to years of opioid or alcohol abuse. But, remember - if something seems too good to be true, it probably is - and there's a lot of lies being spread about Kratom. You CAN get addicted to it. You WILL go into withdrawals if you take too much and stop abruptly. You MIGHT die from it. I did. And dying once was enough for me. I always kept a work planner and daily notes. My job at the time meant I had to record a lot of details. But I also kept a personal diary as well. Spanning a three-year period beginning in 2017 and ending in my death, I wrote down everything I did and thought and spent. And Kratom is always on the page. It was my one constant companion. I read these diaries now and am in shock and utter horror at the amount of money wasted on this plant. The time away from family - both physically and mentally. My goal in this blog is to show you the daily details of being a Kratom addict and what it did to myself and those who loved me. It will detail how much I took, what I was doing, how I felt ( or didn't feel) and what it cost. At the end, you'll see I very nearly paid the ultimate cost for my addiction and witness how I got clean and started Life 2.0. If you're reading this, you may be deep in the Kratom weeds and need to see someone else made it out, or you're curious about Kratom, or maybe you've lost someone to addiction and know every word and lived every moment I write about. Whatever the reason, I hope someone reads this and it helps them find their own way out of the darkness, before the light goes out forever.
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4 Responses to Aren’t We Just A Bunch of Dumb Fucks?

  1. Yernasia Quorelios says:

    💜 It’s NEVER!!! The Substance; it’s ALWAYS!!! The Mood EveryOne


  2. And the substance is the smart one.

  3. varjakBaby says:

    Thank you for starting this blog. It captures everything I’ve gone through on kratom for 8 years.

    • 8 years? That’s a long time to dance with the devil. I’m sorry, I truly understand what you’re going through. I’m glad you found my blog. My hope is together we can show the world the truth about Kratom and how it’s just as dangerous as any pharmaceutical. I’m not gonna insult you with some cheap words saying “it will get better” or “your best days are coming”, because that’s bullshit. You’re in the hardest days now and they get harder. You know that. All I can say stick with me here, you might find something that can help the days feel just a little bit better.

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